THE VISUAL EYES

It's time! It's finally time to start a band. I've been waiting around for a long time, hoping some one would ask, but it's time to take action--and take auditions. Here are the spots that are open, and a description of what I'm looking for.

I play bass, so that spot is taken.

GUITAR PLAYER: I'm looking for a highly talented guitar player. He must have messy long blonde hair, green eyes, and a dead-looking stare. I would prefer some one between the age of 20 and 25. He must be the kind of guy who gets highly irascible when things aren't going his way. Having lots of guitars to smash during rehearsal is a must (although it's not necessary during performances). His favorite genre should be rockabilly. Finally, he must wear clever black shirts with neon letters, jeans, and boots.

DRUM PLAYER: I'm looking for a drum player whose abilities range from mediocre to medium. He must own his own drum set. If he does not have one, he can borrow one from somebody who does. For this position, I'm looking for some one who's a little bit older, like 30-35 (if I really like the guy, he can be a little outside of that range); bald or balding is a must. He wears normal clothes: jeans or cargo pants, plain t-shirts, tennis shoes, and sometimes a hat. His favorite genre must be funk.

VOCALIST: I need a vocalist who is completely dedicated to singing. He/she must not know how to play any other instruments. If they so much as mention another instrument, I'm gonna lose it. He/she must be the "slut" of the group; the one that all the fans go crazy for; thus, their being the most attractive member of the band is a given. He/she must be willing to go shirtless during performances.

The singer must write all of the songs except for three from each album: one written by the guitarist, one by the drummer, and the last one a cover (chosen by me).

Applications can be sent to the comment box below. Tryouts will be next Tuesday. If there's a lot of applications I might extend tryouts to Wednesday.

Oh, and the band is called "The Visual Eyes"... I came up with it myself. If anyone in the band suggests a different band name, they're fired; additionally, they're banned from ever attending any of our concerts.

I've been looking on the internet for a good album cover, and I think I'll use this: